Monday, September 26, 2011


So I was getting ready to do a post about the latest news for Kaitlyn and Josh. They have both had a couple appointments recently and I wanted to get the news out. But on one hand, all my pictures I wanted to post got deleted:( I was so sad! And today the subject of autism took center stage in our house.

Autism. Some days I really hate that word. It can mean a stereotype, a label, a definition of what your child can or cannot do. But days like today I don't mind it. It gives me a word for what went on in our house this morning. It gave me something to say when I didn't want to come right out and tell people who asked that I had a crappy day that I never wish to repeat. I refer to these days as 'autism' days. And anyone with a child on the Autism Spectrum can attest to what I mean.

The day for me started at 7:45 am (OK if you want to know the truth... it started at 4:30am when I spent almost 2 hours... for the second time last night....... with a fussy, teething Kaitlyn). Scott was up getting the kids off to school like every other morning. I woke up to Trevor running and screaming into my room and jumping on me -hard-.... that he had therapy and was not going to school. I thought quickly about what day and time it was and then informed him that he did not have therapy today. What a wrong thing to say!!! A meltdown that was........ epic..... resulted. Both Scott and I got hit and bit at one point. I actually took the brunt of it since Scott ended up leaving or Jordan would have been late for school and he would be late for work. I quickly realize that I can't physically drag him to school.. especially since I had Kaitlyn to deal with. I left him in our living room where he bounced between the couch and floor for almost 2 hours solid... screaming he needed to go to therapy. I still can't remember what I could have said that made him think he had therapy today.

He finally did calm down and spent the day in his room. He was supposed to be cleaning it, but he mostly just got distracted by everything in there and didn't make any cleaning headway. It was OK because he really needed hours to get in a better place emotionally.

So I call these days 'autism' days and leave it at that. So if you ever ask me how I am doing and I say I am having an 'autism' day.... maybe you can get a little bit of an idea of what is going on.

I love Trevor. I am so proud of how far he has come. I want more than anything for him to be OK and to be able to make his way in this world that he has had to adapt to. I really wish I understood why certain things can upset him so much and what I can do to help. I am making progress and I will continue to do so. But some days... Autism just plain kicks my butt!


Chantel and Brian said...

I'm sorry about your terrible day yesterday! I don't know how you do all you do. I look up to you, and I know a lot of other people do as well.

Tanya said...

eh, I'll just ditto Chan. Sending HUGS!