Sunday, September 26, 2010

Where Have I Been?

I know a few people have wondered about me and what is going on. I haven't been blogging like normal, and I am not on Facebook as much. I thought I would explain why.

To say that my life feels like chaos is an understatement. My goal right now is just to get it to a point of 'organized chaos'. LOL.

I will tell you what is going on with each kid, and maybe you will understand.

Trevor. He is doing well. He likes school (hallelujah!!) and we haven't had an serious problems in the morning getting him ready. My biggest hurdle right now is doing homework with Trevor. He goes to school and does so good (for him) with keeping it together and focusing, that the last thing he wants to do is come home and do more homework. His homework should take about 20 min..... but it really takes us about 2 hours each night. And this in one-on-one. Either Scott or I have to be sitting right with him and keep reminding him of what he is doing, listening to his excuses, and fighting him. It is very emotionally draining. But we have at least moved past the meltdowns of doing homework. His IEP is due and we are in the process of coming up with solutions for what is going on. The latest thing we are trying, and what seems to be the best so far, is letting him have from after school until dinner as free time to do what he wants. Then as soon as dinner is over, we start homework at 6:30 and he works for an hour. What he gets done in his hour is all he has to do, and it won't count against him to not finish. He does not know that though... so we push him to do as much as possible. And it works better for me because I can still get dinner ready on time and deal with Josh. Fun times. Then you add in his new weekly therapy group that he just started. He goes from 3:30-5 every wednesday. I take him (as well at the carpool kids) straight from school to WHS in Ogden. Then Scott picks him up on his way home from work. It works good so far and Trevor seems to like it. We are only having to do monthly one-on-one with his therapist now that we added the group therapy, so it cuts down on the amount of school he will miss. Then you also add Scouts, and he is a busy boy! He has weekly den meetings and of course pack meeting monthly. It amazes me how busy kids can get at this young age. So... now you see how busy he keeps me, from the time we pick him up until bedtime. We are struggling more with 'autism' related things going on, and so it's been hard to get a good routine going for him, which he desperately needs. I am close though to having something working.

Now for Jordan...he is doing great as well. 1st grade has been a change for him, but he has done well. He loves school, and just occasionally complains about how long it is. He also has nightly homework, usually Math and Phonics. He is easier to do homework with by far. He can usually do it with just me around to answer questions. I have him doing homework from 4:45-5:30 now so we don't have two kids doing homework at once. That was not working at all. Scott does a majority of homework with the kids, since I am usually trying to get dinner going to keep on our schedule. Jordan also plays soccer right now so tuesday nights he has practice and saturday mornings he has games. It gets crazy around here.

Now Josh. He is also doing well in general. Right now he has caught a cold and is not doing so hot. He got really dehydrated because he shut down with eating and drinking. I have him on his pump with pedialyte every hour he is awake. I am already noticing a bit of a difference in him, so I think we are on the right track. It just reminds me again how fragile he is. One cold can cause some huge setbacks. I don't know if he has lost weight, but I would guess he has. He has a GI appt down at PCMC in two weeks, so I hope to get him in a better place by then or else they will make us start doing more feedings again. I am a bit nervous about it. It has been really nice just doing 4-5 feedings a day and him not wearing his backpack anymore. I really, really don't want to go back to that ever again. He has a few routine appts coming up in October and things will get even busier for me. I will keep you updated on how things go with those.

Now for me. I hate to admit this, but I am one of the biggest problems going on right now. Between having contractions alot, doing scheduled resting, ect. some days it seems like a no win situation. I am very frustrated right now because I can't do what I want do to, but yet again, I do take on more than I can probably safely handle right now because I have no other choice. Scott has really stepped it up with being helpful and doing as much as he can, but he does go to work so I have to do stuff while he is gone. Nighttimes are crazy as you can probably imagine. Keeping on a good routine for Trevor and Josh, doing homework for 2 kids, dealing with Josh and his 2yr old 'activities' (aka, naughtiness), getting dinner done, cleaned up, packing two kids backpacks and remembering to sign everyone's homework, packing two kids' lunches, Josh's backpack, doing Josh's meds every night and getting them all to bed on time is not something one person can do. It is literally impossible. And my days are not any better. I spend my morning while Josh is at school doing my own doctor appts, dentist appts, pharmacy runs, shopping, therapy for Trevor, and then occasionally Josh's appt gets crazy. I pick up the carpool every afternoon as well. So if you have any ideas on where I can fit in scheduled resting.... let me know. I am not finding it very easily. Of course when the contractions hit, or I have bad pain, I have to take a break right then and hope I can catch up later. I just really hope I can make it to thanksgiving. I have been more stressed than ever.... just trying to keep on top of things and trying to keep the strict routine that Trevor needs, making sure Josh is getting his meds 4 times a day and counting calories for him, the stress of what is going on with me and the baby is not helping any. I am just so glad that everything I have going on is pregnancy related and when she is born, it will all go away. At least I will feel better and be able to do more without worrying. Although trying to figure out how this sweet baby girl is going to fit into all this is beyond me right now. I know it will all work out, but getting there is not easy.

So, I am not on the computer like I used to be, and I feel so disconnected to everyone. I hate this feeling, but I do think it will get better soon. I think we have about figured out a good schedule for after school for the kids to let us get everything done that needs to be done in an organized manner. That will help tremendously. But if anyone else has any suggestions, let me know. I am always up for ways to make things better.

Whew! That was a lot longer of a post than I intended. Sorry! And please don't take this as a feel sorry for me post either. That is not at all what I want. I just am being honest and letting everyone get a glimpse into the life of raising two kids with special needs and how that impacts everyday life. As I have always said, we don't know any different and we love our kids. That is all I have to say.

Saturday, September 11, 2010


Jordan started AYSO soccer a couple weeks ago and today was his first game. It's alot different than city soccer, since they keep score, have stricter rules and all games count.

Here is a couple shots of him before his first practice a couple weeks ago. He was so proud. And yes....we finally did get him to put his shin gaurds on the inside of his socks for his game today. LOL!

With Trevor being sick (he has had a staff infection in one of the glands in his neck), both of us had to stay home today. But Scott was awesome and still took Josh to the game. He loved it apparently. Here he is hangin' out.

And this is when he finally gave in and changed his socks to be over his shin gaurds. Silly kid.

And the rest of these are from the game. Since I was not there I am not sure what exactly is going on... but it's 6 year olds.... so I am sure it was a little choas.

His team did great and won the game 7-2. Jordan scored 2 of the goals. We are so proud of him!

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Baby Update

I have actually needed to post for two days, but I am trying to be good and follow all my doctors orders :)

I had a OB appt on thursday morning. Things were not going my way from the get-go when my blood pressure was slightly high. Darn. Then when Julia (my OB) came into the room the first thing she said was that my Endocrinologist had faxed her 3 reports in two weeks about his concerns over my fasting sugars. She informed me that she very rarely gets any reports from Endocrin on her patients once she sends them. She told me she can't help me there, but just to follow what the doctor says. She knows I am, so it was more of a obligation to tell me than anything. After she did an ultrasound and found the baby to be doing great, measuring right on track, we talked about some possibilities of what might be going on. I have had some recent sudden swelling going on, and with that and my blood pressure slightly raised now, there is a concern for PIH, Pre-eclampsia... ect developing. Since I had it with Trevor, started to when I delivered Josh, the risk is quite high. So I have to take my blood pressure twice daily and if I have any sudden bad headaches hit or am feeling particularly crappy I also have to take it and if it's more than 140/90 I am heading to the hospital. Then I had a NST done to see how many contractions I had in an hour. I had too many for her to be comfortable with. So she started me on some meds to stop contractions, put me on semi bed rest until monday and we will see if that helps. If it does, I will just go on scheduled resting for the remainder of the pregnancy and take meds. If not... we will increase/change meds and I will have to go on more strict bed rest for the remaining of the pregnancy. So obviously I hope for the first option. I am really glad to hear that Kaitlyn is doing well though and isn't too big or two small. Since I am only 23w 5 days.... it is not a good sign.

I have tried my hardest to follow what she says and I think considering I have three active children, one requiring alot of support, I am doing alright. It's just frustrating. I look at all the pregnant women I know and I just wonder why I can't just have a complication-free pregnancy.

As I have been thinking the last couple weeks and stressing a bit over how this is all going to work out, I have to share something with you. When I found out I was pregnant, I was worried, stressed and not very excited right at first. Now... most people would think it was because we had not planned on any more kids, we had gotten rid of all our baby things, Josh requires alot of time, or how would we do it all. Let me tell you all of that was furthest from the truth. My worry was about how I was going to survive being pregnant with the problems I always have and keep my family life together. I was worried about whether I would have preterm labor problems and if I would deliver another preemie that would spend the first days of it's life in the NICU hooked up to tubes and wires. I worried about having a micro-preemie that would spend months in the hospital and problems the rest of it's life. I just wonder if I can handle that. At this point... not having baby stuff, not planning on having any more kids, not being ready financially feels like a something very minor to me. I know that Heavenly Father will take care of us and somehow all of that will fall into place. And it has. I have to thank everyone who has given us things for Kaitlyn. It has truly been a miracle how things have all came together for us. I am still really apprehensive about what the future holds and far as Kaitlyn and my health is concerned and I am trying to have the faith that everything will work out according to Heavenly Father's plan. Some days it's harder to remember that, but I am getting better.

So.. that is where we are with the pregnancy. I have not been on blogger or Facebook much lately so I feel so out of touch. I hope that after this weekend I can get more into the swing of things (safely) and be able to connect with everyone. Here's to hoping!