I have been debating on this post for awhile. I usually don't do posts like this on our family blog, but here goes nothing.
First of all I want to share with you a poem I got from my friend Jessica, whom I have met on my "Thru the Tulips" special needs blog.
YOU ARE STRONG
How often has it happened - an acquaintance hears your story or sees your child and says "I'm not as strong as you. I could never deal with all the things you deal with." And you shake your head modestly, and brush it off and maybe even feel a little condescended to.*** But you know what? They're right. You are strong. You're facing things that the average parent doesn't even want to imagine, and you're handling them.*** Whether you were strong to begin with or had strength thrust upon you by necessity, you're one strong parent, one strong person. Your family needs that strength, your children thrive on it. You may wish you never had to be so strong. But appreciate that strength now. It makes you special. Capable. A force to be reckoned with.****
This poem has hit me hard the last couple weeks. I have found myself time and time again reading it throughout the day. I think it was written just for me to express how I feel.
When Scott and I got married 8 years ago, I was like most young bride's.... full of hopes and dreams and visions of what our life was going to be like. Needless to say it has not turned out how I imagined. But I wouldn't change a thing. I love my kids and love everything about them. Raising kids with special needs is not easy. It is a day to day survival of the fittest it seems. But it also brings me such joy and happiness that I can't imagine my life without my kids. The thing I probably struggle with the most, emotionally, is the heartache I feel that they have to work so much harder than other kids to do the same things. Trevor doesn't have any physical challenges and never has, but works hard to keep up with the other kids academically. Josh just has to work hard at everything for so long to accomplish things. Like climbing on our couch. He worked for MONTHS to be able to do that. It is the same with everything he does. He is a very determined little boy and tries so hard... but some days I just wish he could figure things out and get his body to do what it needs to so he can do something he works so hard at. I know that Heavenly Father is mindful of him and that he truly is OK, but it is still hard as his mom to see how hard he has to work at the simple things.
So the reason for this post was to share that poem with you and let you know how I survive each and every day. I also rely on my friends and family to be my support system. Thank you everyone! You're the best!
4 days ago