Sunday, September 26, 2010

Where Have I Been?

I know a few people have wondered about me and what is going on. I haven't been blogging like normal, and I am not on Facebook as much. I thought I would explain why.

To say that my life feels like chaos is an understatement. My goal right now is just to get it to a point of 'organized chaos'. LOL.

I will tell you what is going on with each kid, and maybe you will understand.

Trevor. He is doing well. He likes school (hallelujah!!) and we haven't had an serious problems in the morning getting him ready. My biggest hurdle right now is doing homework with Trevor. He goes to school and does so good (for him) with keeping it together and focusing, that the last thing he wants to do is come home and do more homework. His homework should take about 20 min..... but it really takes us about 2 hours each night. And this in one-on-one. Either Scott or I have to be sitting right with him and keep reminding him of what he is doing, listening to his excuses, and fighting him. It is very emotionally draining. But we have at least moved past the meltdowns of doing homework. His IEP is due and we are in the process of coming up with solutions for what is going on. The latest thing we are trying, and what seems to be the best so far, is letting him have from after school until dinner as free time to do what he wants. Then as soon as dinner is over, we start homework at 6:30 and he works for an hour. What he gets done in his hour is all he has to do, and it won't count against him to not finish. He does not know that though... so we push him to do as much as possible. And it works better for me because I can still get dinner ready on time and deal with Josh. Fun times. Then you add in his new weekly therapy group that he just started. He goes from 3:30-5 every wednesday. I take him (as well at the carpool kids) straight from school to WHS in Ogden. Then Scott picks him up on his way home from work. It works good so far and Trevor seems to like it. We are only having to do monthly one-on-one with his therapist now that we added the group therapy, so it cuts down on the amount of school he will miss. Then you also add Scouts, and he is a busy boy! He has weekly den meetings and of course pack meeting monthly. It amazes me how busy kids can get at this young age. So... now you see how busy he keeps me, from the time we pick him up until bedtime. We are struggling more with 'autism' related things going on, and so it's been hard to get a good routine going for him, which he desperately needs. I am close though to having something working.

Now for Jordan...he is doing great as well. 1st grade has been a change for him, but he has done well. He loves school, and just occasionally complains about how long it is. He also has nightly homework, usually Math and Phonics. He is easier to do homework with by far. He can usually do it with just me around to answer questions. I have him doing homework from 4:45-5:30 now so we don't have two kids doing homework at once. That was not working at all. Scott does a majority of homework with the kids, since I am usually trying to get dinner going to keep on our schedule. Jordan also plays soccer right now so tuesday nights he has practice and saturday mornings he has games. It gets crazy around here.

Now Josh. He is also doing well in general. Right now he has caught a cold and is not doing so hot. He got really dehydrated because he shut down with eating and drinking. I have him on his pump with pedialyte every hour he is awake. I am already noticing a bit of a difference in him, so I think we are on the right track. It just reminds me again how fragile he is. One cold can cause some huge setbacks. I don't know if he has lost weight, but I would guess he has. He has a GI appt down at PCMC in two weeks, so I hope to get him in a better place by then or else they will make us start doing more feedings again. I am a bit nervous about it. It has been really nice just doing 4-5 feedings a day and him not wearing his backpack anymore. I really, really don't want to go back to that ever again. He has a few routine appts coming up in October and things will get even busier for me. I will keep you updated on how things go with those.

Now for me. I hate to admit this, but I am one of the biggest problems going on right now. Between having contractions alot, doing scheduled resting, ect. some days it seems like a no win situation. I am very frustrated right now because I can't do what I want do to, but yet again, I do take on more than I can probably safely handle right now because I have no other choice. Scott has really stepped it up with being helpful and doing as much as he can, but he does go to work so I have to do stuff while he is gone. Nighttimes are crazy as you can probably imagine. Keeping on a good routine for Trevor and Josh, doing homework for 2 kids, dealing with Josh and his 2yr old 'activities' (aka, naughtiness), getting dinner done, cleaned up, packing two kids backpacks and remembering to sign everyone's homework, packing two kids' lunches, Josh's backpack, doing Josh's meds every night and getting them all to bed on time is not something one person can do. It is literally impossible. And my days are not any better. I spend my morning while Josh is at school doing my own doctor appts, dentist appts, pharmacy runs, shopping, therapy for Trevor, and then occasionally Josh's appt gets crazy. I pick up the carpool every afternoon as well. So if you have any ideas on where I can fit in scheduled resting.... let me know. I am not finding it very easily. Of course when the contractions hit, or I have bad pain, I have to take a break right then and hope I can catch up later. I just really hope I can make it to thanksgiving. I have been more stressed than ever.... just trying to keep on top of things and trying to keep the strict routine that Trevor needs, making sure Josh is getting his meds 4 times a day and counting calories for him, the stress of what is going on with me and the baby is not helping any. I am just so glad that everything I have going on is pregnancy related and when she is born, it will all go away. At least I will feel better and be able to do more without worrying. Although trying to figure out how this sweet baby girl is going to fit into all this is beyond me right now. I know it will all work out, but getting there is not easy.

So, I am not on the computer like I used to be, and I feel so disconnected to everyone. I hate this feeling, but I do think it will get better soon. I think we have about figured out a good schedule for after school for the kids to let us get everything done that needs to be done in an organized manner. That will help tremendously. But if anyone else has any suggestions, let me know. I am always up for ways to make things better.

Whew! That was a lot longer of a post than I intended. Sorry! And please don't take this as a feel sorry for me post either. That is not at all what I want. I just am being honest and letting everyone get a glimpse into the life of raising two kids with special needs and how that impacts everyday life. As I have always said, we don't know any different and we love our kids. That is all I have to say.


Chantel and Brian said...

The craziness of your life never ceases to amaze me! Good luck with everything. CALL ME if you need help during the day when Scott is at work. It can take priority over anything I am doing. Poor Josh. Hopefully he can stay on his current feeding schedule. And with Trevor I fully believe you. Mom told me how hard it was to do homework with him after she came and helped. Hope that improves.

Jessica said...

Melisa you are so amazing to me. I wish I lived closer so I could lend you a hand. Would it help if I came up one day this week and just help you make meals for the week and then you could just freez them??? Or maybe have one of the young women come over and help you out in the afternoons until your hubby comes home?
I think of you offten and I have hopes that your pregnancy will get easier.

Tanya said...

I agree with everything they say. You are truly amazing to me. Accept any help you can and ask for it when you need to. Take care and know that you are in our prayers.

Sherri said...

My kids now pray for a Melissa out there, they have never met but know she needs to keep baking a baby (along with everyone else you gotta do). I think it's okay to be honest and share. I appreciate it.

Deb and Spence said...

So many things to do, so little time. I think you're doing great!

Brittany said...

How stressful. I have no advice, but thought I would say you're doing great

Lori said...

you're doing amazing. it can be overwhelming and i only have one special needs kiddo in school. thinking about you and hope all goes well!

Annie said...

Wow I don't know how you do it all, but you are doing a great job. Remember the Lord always can lighten our load when we ask for his help and the help of others. I wish I lived closer to help!