Truthful Tuesdays

Today for my Truthful Tuesday post I was going to talk about Autism and how it has affected me. But since Friday is National Autism Awareness Day, I am going to do a post then.


So now I will talk about my struggle of the week. I know there are many struggles I have, but this one has been on my mind this week alot and thought I would just get all my feelings down.

It is Easter this weekend. One of the activities that comes along with the holiday is Easter Egg Hunts. For most kids this is very exciting and full of lot's of great candy. Up until the last couple of years... this has been about my thinking as well. But now that I have a child who has some food allergies, it has put a whole new spin on things. Last year Josh was on pureed only textures, so we didn't even attempt to give him any candy. Plus he was much younger... not even 2 so he had no idea what he is missing out on. This year is totally different. He can eat some candy now (limited) and run around with the other kids. I realize this year that we are going to have some huge issues and things to work around and do special for Josh. I feel like we do SO much for Josh to accommodate him and his needs... that having to be deny him most kinds of candy is just so unfair. I know it has to be done and that won't change, but it still makes me sad. For once he finally can physically do what the other kids do.... run around and pick up eggs.... and yet it still is not that simple for him. We would still have to be doing the once-over for the candy and removing much of it. I don't' know how aware he will be of that this year.... but there will be a time in the very near future that he will know we are taking his candy away while the other kids get to keep all theirs. I just hate that there is one more thing to separate Josh from the other kids his age. We didn't go through this with Halloween since the kids all had the flu then and we basically skipped the whole thing.


The summary of the situation? I just want some things to be normal for Josh and I hate that it is just not possible. I know he will always have to do things differently with his special needs, but it still hurts my feelings. This week has been a hard one all around for me with my emotions on things going on with Josh. I think it has just been a bad week. Hopefully next week I won't even be thinking about all this. Thanks for listening!

Slacking at Blogging

This is what happens when I become a blogger slacker..... I have to do a big catch-up post. I have intended all week to have this done... and then I just kept getting busy. So here is the last few days and what is going on on our house.


We had a combo birthday party for Trevor and Jordan with Scott's side of the family. I decided to combine birthdays this year since Trevor is being baptized on May 1st and we'll be doing something special for that.

So here is the cake for the party. They always want me to take pictures of the cake. Makes me laugh!

Opening presents with Trevor. Now that they are older they just go to town and rip them open so fast I can't keep up!

And Jordan. For those of you who spend time with him know that he has been BEGGING for a Betta Fish since last september. He was asking for one for christmas and then again for his birthday. So Scott told him one day (as a joke) to ask his aunt Allyson. She told him yes. He was elated!!! So here he is opening presents trying to find his fish.

And now we can introduce Jordan's Betta fish, Ethan, to the world. He sits on a stool all the time and just watches him swim. I am not sure why this has been so exciting for him, but he is soo happy to have his fish.

Now onto our newest activities. Soccer! The kids have never played before and so it has been a whole new experience for us to be a sports family. (as if I didn't' have enough going on.. LOL) Their first game was this past monday. It was a very cold, rainy/snowy day. I was not sure how well it was going to go since the weather was awful. But both kids LOVED it and both scored goals their first game!

Poor Josh was freezing and stuck in the stroller. I hated taking him out in the weather, but I really wanted to see their first game. All in all it was OK, but I really hope we don't have weather that bad for anymore games.

Now enjoy some pictures!!!

Next up??? Baseball and Tee-ball for May and June. I am crazy I tell ya!

Thankful Thursdays

Today I am thankful for my family. All of my family. I have an amazing mom who has been such a great support to me and does everything she can to help me. I have a Dad who does everything he can to help us out. He spends lot's of time with my kids.... and that is priceless. I have two of the best sisters. (yes they are.... everyone thinks that... but mine really are!!!) They have no idea how much support they give me without even thinking about it. I have a great extended family on both sides. I gained two sister-in-laws when I got married and they are great!! I have come to the conclusion over the past couple of years that you can't make it raising special needs kids without this much support. I would go absolutely crazy if I didn't have them.

I love you all!!!!

Truthful Tuesdays (oops... or wednesday!)

I ran out of time for Truthful Tuesday last night. It was crazy. The end.


Today for Truthful Tuesday I am going to talk about my feelings on raising two special needs kids.

It's hard. Are you surprised? Some days I just want to hide and pretend everything is fine. Not everyday is like that.... just some days. I know we all have good and bad days. I don't think that for the most part I do anything more than any other mom's do, it's just different. Then there are times as I am sitting at the hospital for a dr. appt, test or whatever it may be... and I realize this. Some mom's DON'T know what this is like. Not every mom has spent hours and hours and hours at dr appts, hospital stays, therapy visits. ect. And there are times when I am sitting in a waiting room wishing I was somewhere else. Wishing I was home. Wishing that Josh was not having to go to yet another appt. Just wishing life was not so hard for him.

Do you know what gets me through? Josh. He is amazing. I know I have said that a few times, but I just wish you could see how special this little guy is. He rarely cries while we are doing all these appts and tests. And remember we have to travel an hour to Primary Children's Medical Center. So he has already had to be confined in his carseat for an hour every time we go. Then he is loaded into a stroller where I load his medical bag, his feeding pump backpack and the endless supply of cars we take everywhere. Then it takes another 10 minutes to get to the dr office, clinic, lab ect we are heading for. He then has to sit in his stroller in the waiting room until we get called back. I keep him in the stroller so he doesn't touch all the things many other kids have touched to try to keep him well. I do let him out in the exam rooms, but they are good at sanitizing them. He rarely cries during the time we are in the exam rooms and just plays. Then anywhere from 30-60 minutes later when we finally are done with whatever appt we have, I have to get him dressed, reload everything into the stroller and walk out. Then we have the hour drive home. And that is if we only have one appointment that day. I try to do multiple appts at once if needed to save more trips down to PCMC.

I do almost all these appointments alone. Just me and Josh. Scott is always working now, and I find babysitters for Jordan and Trevor if needed. (It usually is.. LOL) I do like getting to spend time with Josh one-on-one... just wish it was for a different reason. He is such a good kid and I can't wait to see what it in store for him for the future.

I have many more thoughts on this subject, but this is all I can share right now. It's not an easy subject for me to talk about so be patient!

Thankful Thursdays

This week I am thankful for:

-Scott's car tires still being under warranty. We had to get one fixed and one replaced.

-Josh being well and happy. He has been a lot of fun this week.

-Trevor finally going to his first therapy session with his new therapist, Joel.

-Jordan trying to read a book way above his level... and sticking with it.

-Scott. He is the best, and keeps me sane. We just celebrated our 9th anniversary a couple weeks ago. It's hard to believe it's been 9 years. I love this guy!

Truthful Tuesdays

I have decided to start a new thing on my blog. I am going to do "Truthful Tuesdays" and "Thankful Thursdays". They may be short, may be long posts... who knows. I just decided that since I do use my blog as a journal I wanted to get everything on here. Like how I am feeling about things and how thankful I am for the family I have and many blessings. So bear with me and I hope you enjoy it if you want!

Today I am taking Jordan to the dentist for his 6 month checkup. No big deal. I am also taking Josh in for his very first appointment. I am very nervous about how he is going to do. He HATES people bugging his mouth. But this dentist specializes in Special Needs kids so I am assuming they have ways to get everything done. Here's to hoping anyway.

We had a really good day yesterday with Trevor. I think it was the first day in a very long time that I didn't get yelled at, backtalked, bit or hit at all. I really want to find a way to get Trevor to a better place. I know he is struggling so much and so am I. As his mom I want to take all the hardships away and let him experience life as a 'normal' child. But that is not going to happen. We just need to find whatever it is that will help him to succeed.

So that is my thoughts of the day.

Birthdays and Changes

I haven't done a post on Jordan's birthday because we haven't done his birthday parties yet. But since we did an inpromtu party the night of his birthday with Scott's parents.... I have a couple pictures.

First though, is this picture of Trevor. He went on a field trip last week to McKay Dee Hospital. He was really excited about it and came home with a bag of hospital gear. He put it all on and was telling us if we were OK or not. I was surprised he would wear it since he has so many sensory issues. But here he is! Sorry the picture is so dark... Scott took it so I don't know what happened.

And... the birthday boy. He is a whole 6 years old now! I still can't believe how fast he has grown and how old he is already. He had a good birthday with a pizza party and a couple presents from Grandma and Grandpa.

Now these couple pictures of Josh are so amazing. It was about 730 at night and Scott and I were trying to get the kids to clean their room, do reading and get ready for bed. Josh had been bathed already and was just running around the house waiting for his time for bed. I had been yelling into the kids room from the kitchen to clean up the toys. I started to hear the sound of Josh's toys hitting the toys bins... but figured it was Scott cleaning up his toys. A couple minutes later I walked into the living room and found Josh cleaning up his toys!!! I had to document it since he usually requires Scott and I to sit with him and help him. What a sweet boy!!

Now, a couple of posts ago I mentioned one of my favorite sayings. I said I wanted to somehow put it in Josh's room. I did it yesterday and wanted to show you how fun and easy it ended up being. The whole project (including wood and paint) was only 15$. I think I am a good bargain shopper!!

And this is where I hung it in his room.

And my last project of yesterday was elevating Josh's bed. He now sleeps consistently on his pillow (or really close) and his head at the same end of the bed. So I finally was able to do this. I just put some foam pad under that end of the mattress. I am really hoping it helps. He has been having some sleeping issues, both night and naps, and I think it is some breakthrough reflux for some reason. So I did this last night and he did sleep better last night. I don't know if it's a fluke or not yet. But I hope!! Also he has been puking around 10:30-10:45 am every morning for the last 5 days now. Just formula comes up. I have not done anything new or changed anything in our routine so that is why I think he is having some breakthrough reflux. I hope it gets better soon.

Just a close-up on the end I elevated.

I will post more pictures in a couple days when we do birthday parties.

Candid Photo Shoot

Today I decided to pull out the camera to take a picture of what we have done in the corner of our living room. Josh's room is full of medical stuff and there is no room for toys. So we took this corner about 4 months ago and made a small play area for him. We had this old cart (so old... it was used as a nightstand by me when I was 14-17 years old) to put toys on. It was a pain because Josh would take out every single toy to find what he wanted. Many messes. So I finally decided to bite the bullet and buy an organizer. So this is what I was going to take a picture of. And I did... here it is.

But then I decided to get some pictures of Josh too. This is him actually eating!!! That is monumental in itself and worthy of celebrating.

Now I just took some pictures of him. Do you like his hair? He has always had VERY fine hair. Usually it has been shaved due to some reason or another (tests, monitoring head changes, not being able to be in a tub, ect). But now that we FINALLY have all his diagnosis and we are through the worst of the testing.... I finally let his hair grow. It finally got long enough to comb a month or so ago. Scott has been trying to spike his hair for the last week. For some reason I just didn't like it. I tried to like it... but it just wasn't him. So today when he woke up from his nap I thought... mmmm.... I am going to 'hawk the hair. I wasn't sure if it would turn out or not. But I think it did and for some reason it seems more him. I think for some reason it just fits better.

So what is your opinion? I won't do it for church... we will comb it down and nice for that... but I love the fun personality that Josh has... and think this is cute.

Anyone else have anymore hair style ideas?

When Josh is tired....

Today started too early. WAY tooooo early. Trevor was up at 5:30 am. So that means Jordan was up shortly after. What I was the most frustrated about was that Trevor woke up Josh. But that happens on occasion and Josh goes back to sleep. Not today. Trevor thought if he was awake, he should get up and play. He can get Josh out of the crib and before I knew it... Josh was squealing and running around the house.... at 5:52am!!!! UUUGGHHHH!!

Today is tuesday so Josh has group therapy. After we took the kids to school I got him ready for the day and turned on Signing Times for him to watch while I finished getting ready to go. I came back out and found him fast asleep on the couch. So cute!!! This boy does not fall asleep anywhere but bed. Never in a carseat...no matter how tired his is. So I had to take pictures.